By now, you all know how I met the love of my life two years ago. What you don’t know is what happened in between. There were many moments of shock & awe. I am confused as to how to share so much info with you all and in which chronological order. As in matters of heart, most of the things are left unsaid. Still, here’s a humble try to fill in the blanks. More than sharing, it is for myself that I am preserving those moments by recording them right here in my blog.
Day 1 (Nov 11, 2012)
A and his family came to meet me and my folks. I with my parents went to a restaurant on the highway. On the way, we picked up A’s parents and brother and sis-in-law, who were coming directly from Saharanpur. The first person I saw was A’s father and I must say that I was mighty impressed with his appearance. Tall, slim, as white as milk, French beard, topped with suit and boot…a complete aristocratic look.
A had arrived the previous day from Delhi and stay put with his brother in Chandigarh. He was coming along with them directly from there. After almost an hour’s wait, arrived A. It was nothing like love at first sight, not because something was amiss but just because (as I mentioned in my prev post) I was too skeptical about this arranged set-up.
This was the first day I saw A. He entered smilingly in a crisp white shirt. My first thoughts on seeing him were, “Not bad, a pretty decent guy.” One thing that stood out was his smile, which was quite attractive. I and A sat down for a round table conversation to discuss the most important aspect of our lives. To be honest, it was just another meeting with another guy at that moment. The conversation started with “So…what do you do?” and believe me, it was the only sensible question we asked each other.
Then we talked informally and the conversation veered from nature, the stars, the sky, our introvert nature and how we both avoid crowd and our needs to spend some quality time alone. Then, there was silence. What to talk next? I realized we talked nothing about anything that would help us in arriving at some decision. To take the flow towards some sensible talking, I asked him, “What kind of a girl are you looking at?” and laughed at myself for the question, as I hated this question from the core of my heart. Many people had asked me this before, and I always replied, “To whom my heart says yes.”
And oila, he gave the same answer to my question.
Day 2 (Nov 14, 2012)
We went over to their place. I and A were again seated across a table discussing all things but matrimony. We talked about all the vague things, from food to families to fun. Then, again a long gap. Now I thought what’s the use of this conversation? Is it helping us in deciding on something? I mean it’s okay to talk about varied things, but they should be directed towards some the aim. So, I say, “Is there anything you want to ask me that will help in arriving at some decision?” No, said A.
I thought now what? It seemed like a dead end. “Okay then, lemme know about further course of action. Is it Yes, No or you want more meetings to decide, just let me know whenever,” I said, because I was answerable to the families who were involved with us. “I toh like you a lot,” said A. I was shocked & surprised in that fraction of second. “No, still take your time and then decide,” I reiterated. He said I am saying I like you. I again said, “Good to know but still think.”
He smiled and said, “Ab toh aap na hi karwa ke manegi.” I smiled too & that was our fleeting moment of whatever you may choose to call that emotion.
Now all this was between me & A. I got no chance to talk to my family after this. We all then went to A’s house where we had tea and chit chatted. There were many family members in the house then and I think they were discussing among themselves about the whole thing. As a courtesy gesture, everyone approved of every other person and of course me & A. It was to be a normal meeting and my family was looking forward to going back home and seeing how things progress, when suddenly A’s mother said, “We like the girl a lot and would like to make her ours tomorrow.” What!!! I almost fainted.
Me & my family got a bit confused as we were not prepared for this. My mom in a bid to save the situation said, “yes, yes, sure. Let me ask my daughter first if she okay with everything.” Amidst this, everyone started asking me my decision. I said “Yes, I am okay with the guy.”
Now my family fainted. They were completely taken aback. How come their daughter (who used to fight with them over this issue of how can she say yes to a guy after only meeting twice, and that she wants at least 6 months with the guy before deciding on marriage) could say yes like this. Immediately, my mom came close to me and asked, “Tell me, are you okay with it. Should we say yes?” I said, “Yes.” She was still not convinced and thought it was just a courtesy Yes. Also, we were in minority as we just the 5 of us. A’s family was much larger in number and they were all happy, jolly & positive about the alliance and in such a large set up, it was tough to take a personal call on the issue.
I mean it was not that I had any doubts about my decision regarding A. It was just that we, as a family of 5, got no chance to discuss the whole thing. The families got taking about how to proceed further. A’s happiness was there for all to see & I am sure he would have seen mine. In this all hullabaloo, my brother came to me and asked secretly, “Didi are you sure about your decision. There is no pressure. Just tell me if you have any slightest of doubt.” I smiled and said no. I could understand his concern. Even I was shocked how could I take this decision so fast. It was just plain destiny, nothing else.
Before leaving, Dad told them that though we are okay with everything, we cannot say yes before seeking our Guru’s approval. A’s family got bit disappointed. They thought we were seeking time.
Nov 17, 2012
We met our Guruji who gave his blessings and gave dates for the wedding, 30th Nov, 2012 & Jan 17, 2013. The moment we came out after meeting him, my dad called up A’s and gave him the good news. The families sort of went into hysteria. Even I could not believe it was happening. A kind of riot broke out. Nobody could contain their happiness, it was overflowing. Our families decided to keep the engagement ceremony the next day, as it was Sunday & a day that suited all. It was too quick for me to swallow but it was a happy change. However, in all this over-excitement, our families fixed up our wedding for Nov 30th. I was not at all happy with such a rush. After all, I had met A only twice. I wanted at least some time to know him better. I tried to convince my family to postpone the date but they were too happy to listen to me. All my happiness vanished thinking of marriage within few days. It was totally unacceptable to me. When A called up to congratulate me, we were both amused at our engagement the next day. I asked him if he was okay with the marriage date, he said it was too fast but okay. I told him I am not okay and want to postpone it. He said he was rushing from Delhi to Saharanpur and would come to Ambala midway to discuss things.
The things went a bit out of control from hereon. It was 5 pm already and we were still in Chandigarh. Preparations had to be done for the engagement the next day at 11 am. On our way back to Ambala, discussions after discussions followed about the whole thing but the wedding date proved to be a dampener. I was lost totally. My family was in no mood to relent. They were shocked as to why I was not happy and I was shocked at their decision. It was an emotional turmoil. I cried & cried but got no support from anyone, except my brother who was in Pune at that time. He understood my point and tried to convince my family. They finally said if A is okay with postponing the date, only then they will do so.
A reached my home at 11 in the night. My eyes were fluffy due to all the crying. From there, we went to a nearby restaurant and discussed the turn of events. I simply told him one thing, ” Whatever happens will happen, but I don’t want to marry a stranger. At least we should be friends before we see each other in the mandap. Rest I leave to God.” He didn’t say much and told me to let the things happen as they are happening.
Nov 18, 2012
It was to be one of the most b’ful day of my life, but with too much of stress for us as a family. Booking a restaurant, managing the whole function, and to top it all, getting the engagement rings. We got a shop opened at 10 am and shortlisted the best from whatever rings we had. Whoa, what a day!
Finally, we got engaged and the WOW moment was when before exchanging the rings, A told me he has talked to his family and they have decided to postpone the wedding to Jan 17, 2013. Can’t tell you what a moment it was. It was the beginning of love & respect for the man who was to be my soulmate. It was the best gift he gave to me. For, the next two months were the most b’ful months of my life.
Finally, on Jan 17, 2013, amidst dark clouds, thunderstorm and rains, we took our sacred vows of marriage and began our b’ful journey of togetherness.
Happy Anniversary A! You mean the world to me!!!