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By now, you all know how I met the love of my life two years ago. What you don’t know is what happened in between. There were many moments of shock & awe. I am confused as to how to share so much info with you all and in which chronological order. As in matters of heart, most of the things are left unsaid. Still, here’s a humble try to fill in the blanks. More than sharing, it is for myself that I am preserving those moments by recording them right here in my blog.

Day 1 (Nov 11, 2012)

A and his family came to meet me and my folks. I with my parents went to a restaurant on the highway. On the way, we picked up A’s parents and brother and sis-in-law, who were coming directly from Saharanpur. The first person I saw was A’s father and I must say that I was mighty impressed with his appearance. Tall, slim, as white as milk, French beard, topped with suit and boot…a complete aristocratic look.

A had arrived the previous day from Delhi and stay put with his brother in Chandigarh. He was coming along with them directly from there. After almost an hour’s wait, arrived A. It was nothing like love at first sight, not because something was amiss but just because (as I mentioned in my prev post) I was too skeptical about this arranged set-up.

This was the first day I saw A. He entered smilingly in a crisp white shirt. My first thoughts on seeing him were, “Not bad, a pretty decent guy.” One thing that stood out was his smile, which was quite attractive. I and A sat down for a round table conversation to discuss the most important aspect of our lives. To be honest, it was just another meeting with another guy at that moment. The conversation started with “So…what do you do?” and believe me, it was the only sensible question we asked each other.

Then we talked informally and the conversation veered from nature, the stars, the sky, our introvert nature and how we both avoid crowd and our needs to spend some quality time alone. Then, there was silence. What to talk next? I realized we talked nothing about anything that would help us in arriving at some decision. To take the flow towards some sensible talking, I asked him, “What kind of a girl are you looking at?” and laughed at myself for the question, as I hated this question from the core of my heart. Many people had asked me this before, and I always replied, “To whom my heart says yes.”
And oila, he gave the same answer to my question.

Day 2 (Nov 14, 2012)

We went over to their place. I and A were again seated across a table discussing all things but matrimony. We talked about all the vague things, from food to families to fun. Then, again a long gap. Now I thought what’s the use of this conversation? Is it helping us in deciding on something? I mean it’s okay to talk about varied things, but they should be directed towards some the aim. So, I say, “Is there anything you want to ask me that will help in arriving at some decision?” No, said A.

I thought now what? It seemed like a dead end. “Okay then, lemme know about further course of action. Is it Yes, No or you want more meetings to decide, just let me know whenever,” I said, because I was answerable to the families who were involved with us. “I toh like you a lot,” said A. I was shocked & surprised in that fraction of second. “No, still take your time and then decide,” I reiterated. He said I am saying I like you. I again said, “Good to know but still think.”

He smiled and said, “Ab toh aap na hi karwa ke manegi.” I smiled too & that was our fleeting moment of whatever you may choose to call that emotion.

Now all this was between me & A. I got no chance to talk to my family after this. We all then went to A’s house where we had tea and chit chatted. There were many family members in the house then and I think they were discussing among themselves about the whole thing. As a courtesy gesture, everyone approved of every other person and of course me & A. It was to be a normal meeting and my family was looking forward to going back home and seeing how things progress, when suddenly A’s mother said, “We like the girl a lot and would like to make her ours tomorrow.” What!!! I almost fainted.

Me & my family got a bit confused as we were not prepared for this. My mom in a bid to save the situation said, “yes, yes, sure. Let me ask my daughter first if she okay with everything.” Amidst this, everyone started asking me my decision. I said “Yes, I am okay with the guy.”

Now my family fainted. They were completely taken aback. How come their daughter (who used to fight with them over this issue of how can she say yes to a guy after only meeting twice, and that she wants at least 6 months with the guy before deciding on marriage) could say yes like this. Immediately, my mom came close to me and asked, “Tell me, are you okay with it. Should we say yes?” I said, “Yes.” She was still not convinced and thought it was just a courtesy Yes. Also, we were in minority as we just the 5 of us. A’s family was much larger in number and they were all happy, jolly & positive about the alliance and in such a large set up, it was tough to take a personal call on the issue.

I mean it was not that I had any doubts about my decision regarding A. It was just that we, as a family of 5, got no chance to discuss the whole thing. The families got taking about how to proceed further. A’s happiness was there for all to see & I am sure he would have seen mine. In this all hullabaloo, my brother came to me and asked secretly, “Didi are you sure about your decision. There is no pressure. Just tell me if you have any slightest of doubt.” I smiled and said no. I could understand his concern. Even I was shocked how could I take this decision so fast. It was just plain destiny, nothing else.

Before leaving, Dad told them that though we are okay with everything, we cannot say yes before seeking our Guru’s approval. A’s family got bit disappointed. They thought we were seeking time.

Nov 17, 2012

We met our Guruji who gave his blessings and gave dates for the wedding, 30th Nov, 2012 & Jan 17, 2013. The moment we came out after meeting him, my dad called up A’s and gave him the good news. The families sort of went into hysteria. Even I could not believe it was happening. A kind of riot broke out. Nobody could contain their happiness, it was overflowing. Our families decided to keep the engagement ceremony the next day, as it was Sunday & a day that suited all. It was too quick for me to swallow but it was a happy change. However, in all this over-excitement, our families fixed up our wedding for Nov 30th. I was not at all happy with such a rush. After all, I had met A only twice. I wanted at least some time to know him better. I tried to convince my family to postpone the date but they were too happy to listen to me. All my happiness vanished thinking of marriage within few days. It was totally unacceptable to me. When A called up to congratulate me, we were both amused at our engagement the next day. I asked him if he was okay with the marriage date, he said it was too fast but okay. I told him I am not okay and want to postpone it. He said he was rushing from Delhi to Saharanpur and would come to Ambala midway to discuss things.

The things went a bit out of control from hereon. It was 5 pm already and we were still in Chandigarh. Preparations had to be done for the engagement the next day at 11 am. On our way back to Ambala, discussions after discussions followed about the whole thing but the wedding date proved to be a dampener. I was lost totally. My family was in no mood to relent. They were shocked as to why I was not happy and I was shocked at their decision. It was an emotional turmoil. I cried & cried but got no support from anyone, except my brother who was in Pune at that time. He understood my point and tried to convince my family. They finally said if A is okay with postponing the date, only then they will do so.

A reached my home at 11 in the night. My eyes were fluffy due to all the crying. From there, we went to a nearby restaurant and discussed the turn of events. I simply told him one thing, ” Whatever happens will happen, but I don’t want to marry a stranger. At least we should be friends before we see each other in the mandap. Rest I leave to God.” He didn’t say much and told me to let the things happen as they are happening.

Nov 18, 2012

It was to be one of the most b’ful day of my life, but with too much of stress for us as a family. Booking a restaurant, managing the whole function, and to top it all, getting the engagement rings. We got a shop opened at 10 am and shortlisted the best from whatever rings we had. Whoa, what a day!

Finally, we got engaged and the WOW moment was when before exchanging the rings, A told me he has talked to his family and they have decided to postpone the wedding to Jan 17, 2013. Can’t tell you what a moment it was. It was the beginning of love & respect for the man who was to be my soulmate. It was the best gift he gave to me. For, the next two months were the most b’ful months of my life.

Finally, on Jan 17, 2013, amidst dark clouds, thunderstorm and rains, we took our sacred vows of marriage and began our b’ful journey of togetherness.

Happy Anniversary A! You mean the world to me!!!

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Beautiful Beginning!

Beautiful Beginning!

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It was a usual day. Same life, same people but with an unusual excitement in the heart and a feeling of disbelief. I was getting engaged after meeting a guy only twice, within a span of one week. This day, 2 years ago (gosh! it’s been 2 years?). It’s hard to believe it happened this quickly. I mean, imagine a guy comes from nowhere and becomes the center of your life, and vice versa.

Destiny, you do whatever you want to do man or woman!

It all started with one matrimonial site, which my dad used to scan with utmost dedication in the hope of finding a suitable match for her daughter. Amidst endless pics of guys, all eligible bachelors, I used to wonder, “Will my prince charming come out of these pics?”

The story began in year 2011 when this guy, let’s call him A, sent an interest on my matrimonial profile, which was rejected by my father for the reasons best known to him.

An year later, my dad sent him an interest, which was accepted by A,  who later claimed that he kept waiting & waiting for an interest from my side, as guided by his inner instinct. Both (my dad & A) decide to take the matter a step further by sharing more details when A suddenly disappeared from the scene (as he had caught dengue). Dad thought A not interested anymore and forgot about him.

One day, dad receives a mail from A, saying he was not well,  that he apologize for the delay and now wants to take things further. My sis reads the mails and asks dad to talk to the guy once again.

Dad told me about A and as usual, I was not much interested in meeting anyone. I was fed up of this process and not interested in marriage,  that too an arranged one. To top it all, when dad told me that A was from Saharanpur, UP, the remaining interest vanished (no offence intended). Saharanpur??? I mean, “Never,” I said.

My brother convinced dad to at least fix up a meeting and say “No” after meeting the guy. There’s no harm in it,” he said, and dad bought to his argument.

A meeting was fixed for 11th Nov, 2012.

Day 1: 11th Nov, 2012

Venue: A city restaurant in Ambala

No. of people at the venue: 11 (what!!! 2 people are to meet and 9 people to help them in the process.) It’s another thing that these 9 people played a key role in hooking us up.

Everyone ordered food…A separate table was laid for me & A…(My dad says, “aa jao beta, sit separately and chat aaram se.” (I wanted to vanish as I hated this set up from the core of my heart). We (me & A) shifted to the adjacent table and began the formal chit chat. All the others who had come also tried to bond and pass their time eating & chatting, while looking at me & A from the corner of their eyes. Meeting over…we joined the family table…smiled to all…with everyone trying to behave as normal as possible.

Now, A’s family invited us to Saharanpur and we meet for the second time there.

Day 2: 14 Nov, 2012

Venue: A city restaurant

No. of people at the venue: 15 (no comments)

Same process is repeated. We sat in a corner of a restaurant in an attempt to make the biggest decision of our lives. After the meeting, me & A gave our nod for each other and the families rejoice. My family seeks some more time for the final approval, as we had to take our Guru’s permission. After his nod on Nov 17 at 3 pm sharp (I still remember the exact time), my dad calls up A’s dad and our engagement was fixed for the next day.

Day 3: 18 Nov, 2012

We exchanged rings with lots of love in our hearts, the blessings of our family members and the dreams of a happy future. In one week, my status changed from “Single” to “Engaged”. In next 2 months, it will change from “Engaged” to “Happily Married”!!!

{PS: Dad, (more…)

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god's plansWhat an eventful year it has turned out to be. It was one hell of a roller coaster ride, the most dramatic one I ever had in my life. Full of lots of downs and downs and a few ups. It was the year that almost reached a nadir in terms of everything I had in life; job, money, my friends, my identity, and many many things that defined me and my life, socially. Almost everything was given up or taken away, depending on the way one looks at it.

I gave up my full-time job (or was forced to) at the beginning of this year due to some adverse situations. Blessed that I always was, I got work-from-home option for three months to avoid resignation. Still, nothing could be done much and in March 2012, I quit. Among many other reasons, the need for a sabbatical was a dominating factor. After 9 years of work, I wanted a different perspective on life. Never wanted my life to be defined merely by my work and hence, I am happy I took that decision.

To earn my bread and butter, I took up part-time options and freelancing. This gave me a life I was carving for. Ample time at home and with myself, less work pressure, freedom from negativity and no more interference of all and sundry about what I should do with my life.

However, pitfalls of this decision were more than the perks. There was less money to survive and the social identity (about which I never cared though) was lost in this mayhem. The question marks were many, sarcasm was evident in everyone’s words.

Thirty-two, single, and now unemployed, the statistics were not getting any better. It hardly mattered to me but somewhere affected my family. Though they always supported me fully and gave me the strength to go ahead, but still as my parents and siblings, their concern was natural.

My plan was clear: after a laid-back 2012, shift base to Delhi in January 2013 for a full-fledged professional life and earn well to lead a single woman’s life. But before January could come, God intervened, as he always does whenever I dare to plan. I got engaged, against all hopes and odds! Life took a 360-degree turn.

What I had planned was thrown down the drain and God gave me a new life altogether, something I was not anticipating at all. Fortunately, “I am loving it!” and at this moment the only thing my heart is saying is, “God’s plans are always better than ours!”

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Today is Valentine’s Day. Don’t know if you had expected a post from me or no, but I expected one from me. Reason: I love life, I love love and I passionately love all the special people who are there in my life, and most importantly, they all love me more than me. I am far too imperfect for all of them.

Of course I don’t believe in just having one day to express love, but don’t mind celebrating Valentine’s Day either. I love every celebration of life, from enjoying a cup of tea in solitude to partying with friends. And oh, if anyone is reading this post expecting to know about the valentine kind of love in my life, I am sorry to disappoint you, and even myself. I have none. Strange na, especially when I love love so much. But that’s something beyond me.

That apart, my life, touchwood, is full of love. I have so much of love around me that I secretly fear losing it, God forbid. May be its coz of this love that I find life so beautiful, in spite of its struggles and pressures and complications. Another thing is that I don’t have many people in my life who are very close to me. They are just a few, I mean the people who are part of my daily life and close to my heart. Everyone is special in my life, but if we talk about the ones who form my everyday life, I can count them on my fingers. And to the extent of boring you again (I have been asked by many not to write emotional posts, but this is my blog, not your newspaper), I would like to thank those lovely people who make my life lovable, that’s what Valentine’s day is for na?

Besides my family, the most lovable component of my life, I would like to thank all my friends for being there and adding to the quality of my life. Special thanks to my roommates who have given me a home away from home, a support system to smile in the midst of sorrows, their shoulders when I needed them, and for being so good that it strengthened by belief that life is full of good people too.

Today, it’s the birthday of one of my roomies too. May god bless her and give her someone to love too. And ahh, birthday reminds me of one strange fact of our lives, which I am embarrassed to admit on this love day, but not at all ashamed. Most of my friends are above 30 years and unmarried, including my roommates. Sigh! What a way to end the Valentine’s Day post.

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