Hi everyone, hope u all doing well. Sorry for such a long silence. Was too engrossed in dealing with the changes in my life, something I am very bad at. I get bored easily and at the same time, fear change too. Contradiction is my second name. I like to keep things constant, especially the people and situations I love. Don’t want them to change, yet want to experience a lot in this life. Silly na?
So what had happened was that my sweet, normal, routine life was suddenly changed in a week. My brother left for Pune (I have already blogged about it) and I got a new job. The mere thought that my parents would be alone was enough to give me goosebumps and it just happened last month, so you can imagine my plight having to live this nightmare. I was forced to live with this reality, something neither of us (my family) had expected would come so soon. But, the reality was, it had.
Then, the change of my job. Had it been my previous job, I would have easily managed to commute daily, even at the risk of being a slave of drudgery. But when I had applied for job, I had no idea that my brother would have to leave within a week out of home. Had I any such inclination, I would not have taken up the new job. At least my parents would have a reason to look forward to something, of me coming and going, and my mom at least preparing tiffin for me, something that would have kept her busy. My mere presence at home would have been enough for her to sleep well, something she has not done since the home has gone empty. But life always has its own plans.
My new job involves night shifts, so going home is out of question. Then, frequent changes have been happening in life since the last two years, so coping with them took lot of energy. Had previously changed job just a year back, and now again, a new job, I was not too keen. Was longing for a stable and stagnant life, yes I love that too, though don’t know how long I would have been able to sustain that.
So new office, new place, new people, leaving old friends with whom I had just stated forming a good bond, battling change at home, got just too much. Plus life’s endless other challenges. And I write only when I feel like, I had told u that in my first post itself. So, after a month, I have finally found my ground and is raring to go again. I take time to accept change but once I do, there’s no looking back. I may take time in adjusting but I have this ability to stay grounded in tough times, have grown quite strong in dealing with life’s struggles now, one positive aspect of not having life as a bed of roses.
These things may not mean much in reading, but matter a lot when have to be lived. Like someone said, “What’s the big deal in parents being alone? My parents are alone since ages.”
Yes I know, it’s no big deal for anybody, but ask any daughter, you will get your answer. Even my parents are coping, learning to adjust, but will take time, coz they are the ones whose life revolved around kids.
Just read Namita Bhandare’s piece on a similar situation. Here’s the link if you like to read.
PS: And yes, yes, I have not forgotten that it’s Friendship Day today. In fact that was one main reason I wrote today. From the bottom of my heart, I thank all my friends for being there always. It means lot to have people accept you even when you are wrong. Thanks everyone. And my FIHL friends, miss you lot.